2009 Reflections

Wow oh Wow.........where has this year wandered off to??? I am sitting here trying to remember the good things that happened in 2009.......but for me personally.........there has been so much stuff that has gone horribly wrong.....for now, those things seem to overshadow the good......

Since September, I have lost 3 members of either my family or my extended family. My father was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer in August and had to have the affected kidney removed. Because he is a Type 2 diabetic......the remaining kidney has been damaged and is just limping along......causing him to have to start dialysis....while he is now cancer free! He unfortunately at age 69, must remain cancer free for a minimum of 2 years to be put on a transplant list.........he's very upbeat about the situation and seems to be accepting what he's been dealt.

One of my closest friends lost her grandson to the hand of the babysitter in September.....seems charges will be filed shortly.......the situation just drags on and on never giving the family any closure or time to finish grieving..........they still have a long and horrible road ahead of them with the criminal aspect of the situation..........to think that an 18 month old baby lost his life at the hands of a lunatic is just inconceivable.........

I've already blogged about losing Kaci...........another stab to the heart............

In October, Duane lost his father to a sudden heart attack.

It is true that you never know what life has in store for you.

I apologize for the depressed attitude today.......these things are just overpowering my soul and I find them to be a bit overwhelming today.

I am trying to put myself in a better frame of mind while Duane is at the gym......Blogging helps and maybe a few cocktails will soften the blows for the evening.

I know in my heart that I have so much to be grateful for......and I am.........those things will again rise to the surface......but for today, at least for a little while........I am having myself a pity party.

So here's to you my friends! I hope time spent with your families over the Christmas holidays was everything you hoped for.

May you remain Healthy and Prosper in the New Year!!
xxoo

Rest In Peace My Friend

This was done by her oldest son Tyler Kobel in his mom's remembrance

Why?

This morning I received a call from Kansas City from one of my oldest, closet friends. She lost her sister last night to cancer.......this is the second sister she has lost to cancer......the first from breast cancer at age 28 and now her second sister at 36. This sister beat breast cancer......inflammatory breast cancer.....the most aggressive kind only to have cancer return as brain cancer.......when I see the toll this took on such a beautiful person in only a year......I have to ask WHY???

This is a family I became very close with over 25 years ago.......though geographical distance has separated us...we always managed to stay in one another's "business". I will miss Kaci sooooooo much. She truly was a beautiful person with an infectious laugh no one will ever forget. Another hole is left in their family. Please pray for her remaining sisters, Krysti, Klover and Kim. As well as her husband Darren and her two young sons...You can only imagine the devastation her parents are feeling after losing yet another child. My only solace is knowing that she and Kricket are together and will forever watch over their family until they can all be together again.

When they say life is not fair......this is a perfect example of why.

I am posting one of my favorite pictures of Kaci (she's in the middle) so you can see her beautiful smile. Rest in peace Kaci - You are loved and will be missed by many.

Seems appropriate

A picture of the sunset on Cozumel taken 12/11/2009 for your enjoyment. Wish you could have been there with me!

Not my words.........though I wish they were........food for thought, enjoy!

Takes 2 min to read this. This is something we should all read at least once a week. It was written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio . To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words. 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a "gift."

Where does the time go?

Well I am back from vacation now and what a wonderful trip it was. The first time hubby and I have traveled together out of the country alone........just the two of us! Which turned out to be great........we had a wonderful time, met some new friends and experienced some new adventures........Thank you hubby!!

Now I am here looking at what appears to be the bottom of a wagon........since I seem to have fallen off of mine..........but hey, I could make excuses all day long and well into tomorrow........but I'm not going to beat myself up too much........lots of stress this time of the year and stress seems to be my main trigger to unhealthy behavior.........so it seems I will have some good days and some bad days through the season........but emotionally, I will give it my all to remain healthy in my mind.

This last bout with the cycle was a rough one and I am looking forward to the new gyno doctor visit in January.......hoping she has a fresh outlook on my situation and can offer some relief without my having to undergo surgery............though I am thinking THAT might be in my near future.........we shall see.

In the meantime, I will continue to be thankful for the health I do have, good or bad and ask for the continued improving health for my family and friends. It has not been such a good year for many that I know health wise, but some of it has to do with the inevitable aging cycle.......seems only Hollywood actresses have the market cornered on perpetual youth.

There are some changes going on in my office, specifically in my department. Though part of the change makes me sad......I will be losing my daily contact with someone I have worked with for 10 years.......I think we have enough history together that we will continue to peek in on one anothers lives, at least I hope so. I am uncertain how I feel about the change/changes but will push to remain optimistic. So mysterious, aren't I?

Lots going on right now........as I am sure you can all relate to.

It's late and I have just finished wrapping presents for an adopted family. Still have to walk dogs and get ready for what I hope is some serious slumber time.

Have a good Friday and weekend.

XXOO